1. You may be singing the ABCs in the car...by yourself...on the way to the grocery store. In 8 different octaves. I hardly know what an octave is, but I gave myself a pat on the back.
2. You may find a yellow crayon tucked in-between dirty laundry as you're throwing the clothes in the washer.
3. You may belt out to "I will always love you" by Whitney Houston while driving in the car alone, because let's face it, that's the best song to play air guitar, air drums, and air microphone to all while driving.
4. You may not shower because frankly, you're not gonna be around people anyway. Who cares.
5. You may have to tell your oldest child, "No, no, baby. We don't shove our fingers down Jack's throat to get him to smile!!" It's a little creepy that Abigail enjoys the pain of others...
"Time + alone" aren't two words used in my vocabulary really. I wake up to babies and I go to sleep to babies. Babies, babies, babies. But I should brag on my guy a little. One Sunday he legitimately kicked me out of our house and said, "Don't come back a minute before 5 PM. And buy yourself something, got that??" So excited to get out of the house alone....I took one step outside and then it hit me...what in the WORLD do I do? I've never experienced such an honor... I went to Target. [Obvi.] I did it! I made it there alone...But the whole time I was looking at baby clothes...I just can't get away from baby things. They're constantly on my mind. I just lovem' so much I wanna eatem' right up!
Another time I went to the dreaded...dare I say it...Market Basket. [I just got the shakes.] That grocery store gets the best of me, I swear. People have some SERIOUS road rage in those aisles. These Bostonians shop the same way they drive: ludicrous.
You know you're a mom when your husband says, "Have fun!" when leaving for the grocery store alone...
So I managed to go 6 weeks without getting out of the house alone. And then I thought I should probably try it just for giggles. Honestly, I was terrified to go out with both children alone. Why? Let me tell you just ONE reason. I went to Target a few days ago (shocker?) and thought, "Wow! This is great. My kids are happy and awake. This will be fantastic. Way better than I expected." I park my car and realize I didn't bring the double stroller. Okay, no biggie. His car seat can fit in the cart & Abs can sit in the front of it. Alright, we're all settled, now let's shop...And then my life flashed before my eyes: Jack begins screaming WAILING out of nowhere, which in fact makes Abigail fake cry to manipulate me into taking her out of the car so she can run around. [you bet dang sure I wasn't letting an 18 month old control me] And this is the moment I realized I was a failure that day. No double stroller. No pacifier. No bottle. No carrier. I had to open a pack of pacifiers in the store...and open a pack of gold fish in the store to get both kids settled. Am I even a REAL mom?! How the heck did I walk out of the house thinking I was prepared? And then... I looked down and realized my socks didn't even match. Clearly, I have it all together. Sighhhhhh.
Diapers are everywhere. I mean, EVERYWHERE. Trash can. Bedroom. Bathroom. Kitchen. Abigail's room. Closet. Call us nasty, but next time you wake up at 2 AM to change a diaper, go ahead and try to open your eyes up wide enough to get yourself out of bed, put the baby down, and gently place the dirty diaper in the trash on the other side of the house. Tell me. And if you successfully do it, than I guess you're just a better parent.
"You just get so used to diapers being everywhere that you actually realize you were sleeping on a diaper, not a pillow."
-Josh "the man" Pool.
And whoever said "baby wearing" is so much easier getting things done...is a LIAR. I have to stand 10 feet away from the sink in order to get dishes conquered. And the water ends up splashing on at least one of us. I might as well take the dishes into the shower with me.
Being a mom of two really has been so wonderful. I was so worried about how Abigail would do with my attention needing to be focused on Jack so often, but she has been phenomenal. Surprisingly, this whole "mom thing" is under control (if you disregard the paragraphs above). Abigail is.....freakishly in love with Jack. As in, gets-out-of-the-bath-and-runs-around-the-house-naked-to-find-Jack-and-kiss-him-in-love-with-him. As soon as he wakes up in the morning she screams, "HI DATTTTT!!!!" I love watching them together. Warms my little momma heart.
I'm sure we've had some other really awesome moments (like when they poop in sync...), but this is enough for now.
I can now say I'm ready for baby #3.
psyche.
