Friday, February 21, 2014

Almost 33 weeks

Well y'all, I'm 2 days shy of being 33 weeks.

Holy baby belly.

Today I had my check-up and it went better than expected. Not that I expected anything to go wrong, but every time I leave there I feel so great. My doctor is so so sweet. She is the same doctor who delivered Abigail. She makes me feel so special too. Up until today, I thought she was pretending to remember us by looking at my records before walking in, but then I realized, "Oh wait...it was only 15 months ago that I saw her...for a different pregnancy." She came in today asking how we were doing and played with Abs. Then she was asking how our little guy was doing, and even remembered his name! She had seen it written down right as I was walking out of the door at my last appointment. She really makes me feel so special. Is it weird to love your doctor? Like, to love them so much you wanna be friends? As soon as I left the appointment I prayed for her, and just thanked God for such a caring doctor who really loves her patients. She's the best.
Everything is measuring on track, although my stomach seems larger than life. (#backstreetboys) Surprisingly, I only gained half a pound from 2 weeks ago. How that happened, I don't know. I call it a miracle. Because booooy was food good the past 2 weeks. This morning I made blueberry muffins for "Abigail." I convinced myself that since we shared one, I needed to have my own without sharing as well. It's only fair...I'm older. I'm wiser. And I'm feeding for two. Take that, Abigail.

Speaking of....Our rocking chair busted last night. I have no idea how. #Judgeme. Blame the muffins all you want, but I swear it broke when Josh was sitting in it.

Pregnancy has been...fun...so far. I mean, sure...I have nose bleeds four times a week, and sure the thought & smell of turkey deli meat makes me cringe, and sure my back is aching....what's not fun about that? Kind of kidding. But....seriously. It's the coolest thing to feel a baby that's forming in your body kicking you all day. Or maybe he's just kicking because he wants more muffins...Now that's a thought. And let me just tell you how big my belly is: (and just a forewarning, this is a TMI moment...) You know when they make you take a pee sample when they first call you back? Well when I went to you know...pee in the cup...I completely missed and peed all. over. my. hand. Again, #judgeme, but if your belly was this big, you'd understand.


So I went to my family practice doctor on Monday for my migraines. It's tough to describe, because doctors immediately shut out the thought that there could actually be something wrong and say migraines are caused from pregnancy. I know, I know. Hormones make yo had go whack, but I've had them since I was 11 and now they're just more intense and frequent. So he prescribed me Tylenol with Codeine, which frankly freaks me the heck out, and referred me to a neurologist. Sounds scary, but mama needs some answers. I called the neurologist and the secretary answered the phone and quickly asked for my name, why I was calling, and who referred me. Next she asked me who my health insurance was with. After telling her, she quickly and not-so-gently stated, "Sorry. We don't take that."....CLICK. The woman hung up on me! SHE gave me a headache. 


This past weekend our double stroller came in, much, much thanks to our dear friends!! AND our carseat came in thanks to my parents! Really thanks to my mom....I'm sure my dad will find out they bought it once he reads this... :) These were two big things we were waiting on to feel a little more comfortable with the thought of our little mister coming in 7 weeks. Next we were waiting on a vehicle. And guess what, we go to the dealership as soon as Josh is done with his retreat today to sign the papers! That's right peepz, the good Lord made it happen. So exciting! This was the last thing we really "needed" until he arrives. Oooh and for my sweetiepantz husband bought me a new camera lens (helllooooooo 50mm...mama luhvz yew) so I can practice with it before baby comes!

Abs is sweeter than pie. I'm really curious if she's going to keep lifting my shirt up to kiss my belly after we have our little boy, or if she's really going to associate him with my belly. There's no tellin with this girl. She's a bundle of joy. Yesterday she made me laugh so hard that I cried. And that made her laugh. I asked her to say, "mommy" and right as she was going to say it, a burp rated a 9.5 on the Richter Scale shook out of her tiny body. How can this be so adorable? When Josh burps that loud, I do not claim him as mine. And just a side note, Abigail is walking around the house right now with my bra around her head, Josh's sock in her left hand, and her PJs in the other.

When I checked-out of my appointment today, I asked to make the next couple of appointments that way I can make sure that I'll be seeing my doctor. Unfortunately, they go on 12-hour rotations and there's a chance she may not be on the day I deliver. Boo. Thankfully she was when I had Abs! Anyway, by the time I left the check-out desk, an overwhelming feeling came over me because the lady had booked every appointment until right after my due date. I go back for a check-up in 2 weeks, and then I start going every week to see if there is any progress. I really am SO excited to meet this little chunk, but reality has officially set in. This little guy will be here in no time.

How far along? 32 weeks, 5 days
Symptoms: Bloody nose, wake up in middle of night (and not because of Abigail), migraines
Total weight gain/loss: +21 lbs
Sleep: Pretty well. I think my body is just exhausted from being pregnant for like, two years straight. It's fine though. :)
Food cravings:  Nothing. But I did have a dream last night that I discovered a store full of coke-icee machines. I was in dream-heaven. 
Best moment of this week: Getting our baby gear in!
Movement: all day long. The hard movements are right when I lay down at night and as soon as I wake up. He's just preparing me for when he comes and wakes me up at night, I'm sure of it. He's so thoughtful.
Labor signs: Uh-uh.
Gender: Boy :)
Belly button in or out?: I don't know what you'd call it. It's closing, that's for sure. Sometimes the top part sticks out, other times it's opened. Bizarre.
What I miss: Sushi sounds delicious. And I miss Florida weather. And Florida friends. And Florida family. I miss Florida. And soon I'm gonna miss Betsy. That's our little sweet car we're trading in. #loveyaBets.
What I am looking forward to: Our car! Getting the carseat all set up :)
Milestones: No headache in 5 days. Praise the Lord. 
Weekly wisdom: Baked Raviolis are dabomb.com I've made twice in a week. #judgemeyetagain



Sunday, February 2, 2014

30 weeks

Today marks 30 unbelievable weeks of having this little guy in my belly.

Unbelievable because I have 10 weeks left.
Unbelievable because there is a human developing inside me [like....RIGHT NOW]
Unbelievable because Abigail is going to be a big sister.
Unbelievable because we are about to be a family of three.. ahem...four.
Unbelievable because .....

The other day I was reminiscing on life since I met Josh. Here's our timeline:

We met when I was 19 (2009)
We started dating when I was 20 (2010...#obviously)
We got engaged when I was 21 (2010)
We got married when I was 22 (2011)
We had Abigail when I was 23 (2012)
We will have our second baby very soon... at 24. (2014)

WHAT THE.

So there we have it. Our life in the making. Every year seems to be a new event. I can only imagine what the big 2-5 will bring. #Lordhavemercyonme

We are so so excited to be a growing family! I want to tell ya I want a break, but it's been so fun to see the way God has consistently blessed us since Josh & I have met.

Now for realz... 

Every week I look forward to Sunday because that's my "new preggo week." But now I'm in the 30s. And that. is. freaky. I'll just lay it out for you: I am SO incredibly nervous. Not nervous to be a mom of two, but nervous for when labor begins. I have no idea why. I am so anxious. This is so silly, but my two biggest fears are 1) dying in a car accident 2) dying during childbirth. I don't know why. I don't even know anyone personally that has died in a car accident or died giving birth. I'll take you back on memory lane: In the middle of giving birth to Abs, they all of a sudden grabbed an oxygen mask and put it on me. It took all but three seconds...and in those three seconds, I legitimately thought I was dying. #youcanlaugh. I thought they were putting the mask on me because my heart rate and blood pressure were dropping. They didn't tell me anything...they just put it on and I had to pretend like I was fine.

BUT here I am today...10 weeks from Round 2.

I wasn't nervous for having Abigail at all. I think because I ended up being induced that I am anxious for if my body legitimately goes into labor. (if you ask me, I did go into labor with Abigail and the nurses were just insane in the membrane) I'm nervous right now because I don't have a set time on when to tell my mama when to fly up. I'm nervous because Josh has finals a week and a half after our baby boy is due. And most of all I'm nervous because Abigail won't be with us. It makes me so sad. Truth: I'm crying right now. Not the hyperventalating-I-need-a-bag-to-breathe-in-cry, but the eyes-welling-up-with-water-I-can't-see-very-well-cry.

The longest I've ever been away from her is 8 hours. Eight.

I know I'll be wrapped in the moment of having our little guy here with us and I'll be extremely exhausted, but I am so sad I won't have her by my side. I mean, we spend every moment together. Heck, I eat her food if she doesn't like it. I play hide-n-seek behind the curtains with her. We give each other piggy back rides (she's got a strong back to hold a pregnant woman). We point and laugh at each other. We watch Micky Mouse together. We slow dance together. We take goofy pictures together. We talk in gibberish together. We blow kisses to each other. We walk around the coffee table until she is bored. We are working on a secret handshake together. We do everything together. It all seems so silly, but it's so special.

I know, I know. We'll only be at the hospital for, God willing, two days. She'll visit. But it's not the same. We won't be able to put her to sleep. We won't be able to feed her. We won't be able to read "Moo, Baa, La La La" 9 times in a row together.

I think what scares me the most is that Josh & I's attention is going to be so focused on our new little joy, that we won't be able to pay as much attention to Abigail. And I don't like even the thought of that. What if my mom takes care of Abigail and all she wants is me? I can't do anything about it.
And the thought of having another baby...how can I love him the same? I sometimes tear up when Abigail smiles or laughs because it makes me weak. I love her so much. Josh and I either go in her room every night after she goes to bed or look at her on the monitor and talk about how precious she is. Seriously, every night. We were just talking a few nights ago about how we always seem to talk about how amazing she is before we go to sleep. But for real, if you have more than one child, give me some advice. Because I'm so scared. I'm scared I won't love him the same. I'm scared I won't be able to balance my attention on them. I'm scared of Abigail becoming jealous when I have to feed him or hold him tight from crying.

SO. All this to say, I need your prayers.

Prayers for comfort, strength, joy, and peace. And most of all, I want my labor & delivery to be moments full of focusing on Christ.

Psalm 46:1-2
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear..."
Prayer: Lord, You are the only ever-present one. Thank you for being with us during labor and delivery. I will not fear.

Psalm 139:14
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."
Prayer: Lord, You made me. You have created me to carry and deliver children.Thank you for making me i such a wonderful fashion.

Gift from God

I give thanks to You alone
Who sits on the throne
To loan me this precious gift
And to call it my own. 

May I always see, Lord
In every waking hour,
Your majesty and grace
In this delicate flower.

Help me, O God
To guide and preserve,
This wonderful blessing
to love and to serve.

-Doran Richards